I wanted to title this post, “Praying the Rosary Part II, aka, How Suzi struggles with her adult onset ADD.” Not wanting to offend anyone who truly struggles with the difficulties of ADD, I changed my mind. My point is however, to let everyone know that despite my enthusiasm, I don’t pray it as often as I would like, nor do I always reach that “contemplative” state that JP2 was referring to.
I have a dear friend whose husband wears a shirt that says, “I do whatever the voices in my wife’s head tell me to do.” She is one of my favorite people because we both admit that it feels like there are several people talking in our heads at any one time. There’s my mom voice, my daughter voice, my wife voice, my girlfriend voice… oh yeah, and somewhere in there is the integrated Susan voice (stop it, I know you are having flashbacks to the Cybil movie). My point is that there is a lot of talking going on in my head at any one moment. I know I’m not alone in this noisy affliction, I’m just not afraid to call myself out on it.
Now I know the point of prayer or meditation is to quiet the mind, to free yourself from the noise in your head by focusing on your breath, your words and your visualization. Prayer time should be when I allow myself the freedom to not worry about what needs to get done around the house or what I’m cooking for dinner. Just like when you start any new work out regimen you are not going to execute every exercise correctly or with the necessary form and strength. Same thing goes with learning to pray the rosary.
Although I go into prayer with the best intentions, light a candle and center myself, it rarely results in the joy filled contemplative experience I want. Let me give you a snippet of the sound track in my head when I pray…
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed by Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, (uh oh, that’s right, we are out of bread) and forgive us our trespasses. As we forgive those who trespass against us (I have to send back that jury duty notice). And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee (did the dryer just beep?). Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Amen (ugh, this is going to take me another 10 minutes and I have all of that laundry to fold).
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee (home phone rings, but I ignore it. Can’t you see I’m praying?), Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. (oh wait, what if it’s the school calling?) Amen.
Not wanting to be irreverent, I will stop there. You get the picture. It’s REALLY, REALLY hard to stay focused on praying the words, let alone visualize the mysteries! But if I can do it, anyone can. And in those grace-filled moments when the prayers float off my tongue and I am able to deeply contemplate the unconditional love and deep spiritual connection between Jesus and his mother, I surrender myself to their abundant love. Disclosure notice: Praying the rosary may produce feelings of overwhelming love which can be addicting and repeated use may lead to sudden fits of joy. Discretion is NOT advised.