When I started this blog over a year ago my intention was to provide myself with a vehicle to find my voice again, to speak my truth and to hopefully inspire some people along the way. Well, ya know, sometimes I really need to just take my own advice!
If you’ve ever checked out this blog’s facebook page I try to post and create inspirational pictures as gentle reminders that we are all souls having a human experience. It is not an easy task to be in the world and not live in it. When I get hurt, angry, depressed or just generally lose my perspective, I tend to lose sight of the big spiritual picture just like everyone else.
Today I knew I was in trouble when I found myself with a toothbrush and a spray bottle of bathroom cleaner scrubbing the grout in my shower. My close friends know that if you see me with sponge in one hand and spray cleaner in the other I am clearly upset about something. I started venting my anger like this when I was around the tender age of seven. I swear my mother used to get me upset on purpose just so I would clean the bathroom!
Anyway, my point is that I realize it is much easier to preach about spirituality and love than it is to live in it 24 hours a day. Sometimes when I am looking for inspirational stuff to share on the facebook page, I pause and realize that if I share that post I am a hypocrite or worse yet, a coward. Posts about facing your fears particularly hit a nerve with me. I even have a whole blog post about “love conquering fear,” but still constantly allow fear to have its grip on me.
What am I afraid of? Now if I tell you what I am afraid of I am breathing life into a “negative I AM” statement, which I just cautioned everyone about in my last blog post. See what I’m talking about?
The truth is that we are all just doing the best we can with what we know. When we know better, we should do better, right? Perhaps I should sign up to follow my own blog and and then maybe I will be better about taking my own advice.