My eldest budding goddess, now 19, was a precocious child. A strong willed infant who refused anything but mama’s milk dispensed in nature’s container. At 6 weeks old she was such a picky eater my mother desperately spoon fed the child breast milk because she refused to eat after 8 hours of my “attempt” at returning to work. She was speaking in full sentences around a year old and insisted that I sit for hours and read to her. But nothing surprised me more than the day she was looking at a picture of her ultrasound. She was about 18 months old. “Mommy, what’s that picture? That’s a picture of you when you were in my tummy. Oh, I remember that! I didn’t like it in there. It was dark and tight.” I looked at her and smiled, “We’ll, I guess it was!”
I didn’t dismiss her statement and I was actually intrigued. And if you knew my baby goddess you would know that at 19 she is still is afraid of the dark and is claustrophobic. Post Traumatic Womb Disorder? I’m just kidding…or am I?
A few months back I wrote a piece that seemed to get a lot of attention. At least it seemed to in my little blagosphere. I talked about how I believe as parents we often forget that our children are not just little humans that require nurturing and care, but they are also souls on a journey. I speculated that as souls we choose our parents before our birth, finding those who are best suited to help us learn and grow while we navigate the human experience.
On a recent haunt through a used book store I came across a little gem that addresses this very topic. Or maybe the book found me, a sign from the universe validating my belief. Regardless, this book is full of thought provoking information and draws its hypothesis from several world religions and tons of personal interviews. The book is titled, “Cosmic Cradle; Spiritual Dimensions of Life Before Birth.” It is authored by a husband and wife team, Elizabeth M. Carman and Neil J. Carman.
From the minute I started reading it I was completely sucked in! After a couple of chapters I remembered what baby goddess said as a toddler. According to the authors many children recall pre-birth memories. Some may even remember them into adulthood. The authors hypothesize that not only are we allowed to choose our parents prior to birth, but we also are instrumental in mapping out our entire life plan. Whoa! Wait a minute…does that mean that I chose to include my violent ex-husband prior to inhabiting my mother’s unexpected pregnancy? I really couldn’t have learned that lesson another way? Guess I’m a slow learner. The Carman’s note many reasons as to why most of us have no recollection of our existence prior to birth and many religions have writings that support a valid purpose for our amnesia.
Anyway, this made me start thinking about what triggers our earliest memories. My earliest memory occurred when I was just barely 2 years old. I was infected with a virulent strain of viral pneumonia that was quickly killing children. I was hospitalized in a oxygen tented crib. Dressed only in an t-shirt and underpants, I was cold and scared. I can recall the nurses, the blood draw, the color and design of the room. Forty years later my memories were confirmed when my mother was admitted to the same hospital. Instant flashback. I believe our earliest memories are tied to either very traumatic or very happy events. In polling a few friends, most recount trauma and most were verbal at the time of the trauma.
Could it be that prior to our first traumatic event we are still connected to our Source, still communing and communicating through the veil with angels until something happens in our human experience that makes us feel vulnerable and unprotected? Perhaps for most that trauma occurs during birth. Maybe for others it occurs later when a trauma thrusts us into fully inhabiting our human shell. I put this out there because I would love to read about other people’s earliest or pre-birth memories. Please feel free to comment openly and honestly. No story will be too fantastic or unbelievable. Perhaps you refused to “drink from the pool of Lethe” and have no birth amnesia. I look forward to hearing from you!